Blue Eyes Green Dragon
by Cheeseburger of Doom
Summary: Just for fun -- some jealousy issues. Whose? Well, what's the title? Uh oh...


A/N: Slightly AU. I haven't seen the finals for Battle City yet -- so I don't know how it ends. Too bad for me. Not that I care much, since the semi-finals were extremely enjoyable. Kaiba vs. Yugi gets my blood pumping. 

Kaiba is definitely my favorite. So why am I writing bad humor fics about him? Because I can, I suppose. I hope this fic doesn't make you think I am deranged. I *am* deranged of course, but I would hate for people to know that.

Er. Probably some spoilers for Battle City. The parts I have seen, of course.

This is NOT my first Yu Gi Oh fic. My other one was too dirty so I took it down. Unfortunately. I was rather attached to it. It was kind of amusing. er...yes. 

Some shounen-ai/yaoi -ish stuff. And now that the author's note is longer than the fic...here's the fic!

Blue Eyes Green Dragon

__

Blue Eyes White Dragon is just a card. Blue Eyes White Dragon is just a card.

Kaiba was repeating the same thing over and over in his mind. Of course, Blue Eyes was just a card...and cards were not supposed to have emotions. Cards were not supposed to move on their own. Cards were not living things, damn it! So why was it that whenever he left it at home when he went out, it would be waiting for him on the table when he returned? He _never _left his precious cards out in the open, so how did it get there?

Even stranger things happened. Whenever Kaiba got within a certain proximity of Mutou Yugi -- the Blue Eyes would appear in his hand, or at the top of his deck -- face up -- or it would be waiting for him at home on his table, glaring at him with its beady blue eyes.

He was beginning to wonder if the Blue Eyes was having jealousy issues, but of course that was ridiculous.

On one particular occasion, Kaiba was having a chat with Yugi, about god cards and so on, and he came back to his room in the Battleship to discover the Blue Eyes, waiting for him on his bedside table. It looked as though it was...angry.

Kaiba regarded the card with a sceptical look, and even though it was ridiculous, he decided he needed to have a chat with it.

"You're just a card," he told it firmly. "So stop doing that."

It was just Kaiba's luck that Mokuba happened to walk in on him while he was conversing with the Blue Eyes White Dragon. He blinked at his beloved ni-sama, and opened his mouth to ask a queston; but decided it was better not to bother, judging by the stormy look in Kaiba's eyes.

The Blue Eyes White Dragon's behaviour became increasingly bad, until Kaiba had yet another conversation with it, and assured it that he was interested in Yugi as nothing more than a fellow duellist. That, and he wanted to beat Yugi, and become the Duel King, and laugh in Yugi's pathetic face. Bwahahaha.

After that, the Blue Eyes gave him some space.

A few days later, Kaiba was wallowing in misery after his defeat at the semi-finals of his Battle City. He'd spent a lot of money on the entire venture, and damn it all, he'd lost! What a waste of an investment! His wallet was crying. 

Not to mention he'd lost his pride.

Then that fool Jounouchi had challenged him to a duel -- which of course he'd won easily, but for some reason, that had made him feel a lot better. It was quite shocking really, that the mutt could have that kind of effect on him.

Well, Jounouch was amusing after all. He'd noticed that before, and noticed it many more times...Jounouchi was a fascinating subject, not a very good duellist at first, but he persevered, and he had a very cute smile...

Kaiba was getting an almost un-Kaiba-like misty look in his eyes just thinking about it. And, sure enough, when he went to put away his duel deck -- there was the Blue Eyes, glaring at him.

"What is your problem?" he demanded of it. "You're just a card! I've told you before to stop doing this!"

After a while, things got more interesting between Kaiba and Jounouchi, and after a few outings (which were probably dates, but Kaiba didn't really want to call them that, because it would ruin his image), he decided it would be worthwhile to invite Jounouchi to come home with him.

So, he brought to his humble *cough*reallyfreakingfancy*cough* abode, and just as things were about to get even _more_ interesting, Kaiba spotted the blue eyes on his bed, glaring at him. He could have sworn the damned card's eyes were _glowing_ or something.

"What the hell is going on here?" Kaiba demanded. 

"Um..." Jounouchi wasn't quite sure what to say. He thought it was pretty obvious what was going on here, but apparently Kaiba was a little more naive than he'd led Jounouchi to believe, and --

"That damn card!" Kaiba exclaimed, pointing his finger at his bed. 

Jounouchi turned to look. "Oh, do you sleep with it, too? Is it like your teddy bear? I knew you were attached to it and all, but --"

"No! I didn't put it there," Kaiba said. "It somehow got there on its own."

"..." Jounouchi blinked. "I can leave, if you don't want..."

"No, you're staying right there," Kaiba said. He picked up the Blue Eyes, and just for good measure, he searched through his deck and found the other two, put the three of them in a box, shut the lid, and used some duct tape to seal it shut. 

"There," he said. "Now, let's continue."

The next afternoon, after Jounouchi had left, Kaiba reopened the box, and found three Blue Eyes White Dragons, looking up at him with rather sad and neglected eyes. He felt a twinge of something like regret.

"It's all your fault," he told them. "Stop being so jealous. You know I love you most of all."

The Blue Eyes White Dragon smiled. And Kaiba decided it was time to take a trip to see a shrink. He was talking to a bloody card!

~~~~~


End file.
